Post 2 - Edinburgh to Lima and then Puno

A 2am wake up call is never good. Willing yourself to sleep as quick as possible seems to have the opposite effect and then if you do get to sleep there's that horrible nauseous feeling when you have to get up. Anyhoos.

The main purpose for school for guys is to play football, mess about, fight a wee bit and give the parents somewhere to send you to get peace for a while. Females however have a different remit and one of the learnings was made apparent to me, once again, as we were getting ready to leave.

Realising my best jeans were in the washing basket, 6 hours before we were due to leave, I was shown how to put in a wash. She tried explaining the complexities to me but after I'd asked what the "happy hour wash was" she just shook her head, pressed start and walked away. I hung up the jeans in the boiler cupboard to dry overnight and went to bed.

Next morning Gina walks into the bedroom with her nightdress from the cupboard in her hands and one of those looks only females can have on her disapproving face.

Apparently if you hang up wet washing together it can transmit dampness from one item to another. Now I did lots of science classes at school and not once was this mentioned.  After explaining this to her, her school training kicked in and she gave me one if those "men, you're so ******* stupid" looks and off she went having made her point without saying a word,,

Amsterdam was a brief stop, so not much to say here. Off we went via KLM.

They fed us on the plane and then they fed us again, and again, and again. I was wondering if they were fattening us up for something when we got to Lima. Gina was also asked when her baby was due (that bit´s a lie but I found it funny and it´s my blog)

Lima is like any other major city, big, loud and not that interesting. After arriving at Hotel Faraona we had a quick welcome drink in the bar where some old fella played the latest 70s track on his organ. Some organ by the way, he was very pleased with it and offered to show me it but I turned him down.


I´m not much of a farter.

I did however marry into a family of them. When I met Gina's family they would take great delight whenever one was produced. In fact even now it reduces them to tears. Bear in mind being a catholic family, they didn´t have much to keep them occupied and amused.

Global warming apparently is a major issue. Cars, cows, icebergs melting, all that kind of thing. I can´t say that the warming effect has made any difference in my house as Gina´s backside and feet are always bloody freezing.

Bear with me here as there is a link between both paragraphs above. On the flight to Lima, I must have broken wind hundreds and hundreds of times. Obviously it´s the pressurising and I suppose a couple of lagers helped too. I have never heard though of any university boffins measuring the effect of 500 people in a plane multiplied by however many planes that are in the sky, to see how that compares to the recognised established culprits. Just a thought.

Early start next morning and we flew internally with LAN airways. The stewardess was praying prior to takeoff and then after crossing herself and murmuring something, the plane started accelerating. I don´t think I´ve heard a worser sounding engine but two good things happened. One the engine didn´t break. Second I proved I could fart as much as a cow.

On arrival at the airport the staff donned their Peruvian mariachi costumes and played us a wee song while we waited on our cases. Once they´d collected the money they changed and let us out of the airport.
This is an interesting idea and I think Edinburgh airport staff should ask their staff to do their bit for the tourist industry.

Juliaca airport is approximamente 3800 metres up. I started to feel a bit woozy immediately but it died down once we got on the minibus to Puno.

Puno is a lovely town if you like unfinished building sites. The headaches started on both of us, me more than Gina and it got to the stage that I had to dope myself up. We met the guide and by this time Gina had followed suit and we struggled to concentrate on what was being said. The guide left us and returned 20 mins later with some "herbs" that would make us feel better so we slept with some plants on our pillows. As the herbs took effect Gina asked whether the altitude outside differed to that in the room. If I had only went to school to learn one of those withering looks...... So funny though..

The altitude steadily got worse and we were forced to start on the prescribed altitude tablets. Walking was a chore and the headaches were incredible. I got headaches, shortly after, Gina got headaches, I got pins and needles in my hands and feet, Gina got the same, I got nosebleeds, Gina got the same. The reason i´m telling you this is that if I start to get periods in the near future then you´ll know why.

We left next morning to go to meet the Uros people who live on a floating island made of reeds, then to stay overnight with a native family on Amantani and then the following day, sail to Taquile to see another tribe of Peruvian natives but this will be in Part 3.

PS. I´d be obliged if you could leave comments for me as it´s lonely here with all these bloody foreigners.

Alternatively send to allanmcclure@hotmail.co.uk and i´ll add for you.

Muchass gracias amigos, sorry no pictures posted but no can do on this pc and the tablet won´t allow either