Sunday, 13 July 2014

Post 6 - The Green House, near Urubamba

The Green House

Arrived at the Green House B&B at approximately 11.30ish and were asked a pretty horrible question. "Would you like to watch the World Cup semi final at one of the neighbours and have some beers?" Now this is a difficult question for any man to be asked so you can work out the following. "Drainpipe a up a rat like"

Gina decided to stay behind and stay in the garden, watch the hummingbirds and chill.

Kelly, the current owner of the Green House, took me down to the neighbours a whole three doors away, who turned out to be the former owners of the Green House, and also turned out to be soup herb hosts.

We can understand why the Green House is number 1 in TripAdvisor as the place is not only fantastic but the house, gardens (to Gina's delight full of hummingbirds and stunning views up to the mountains) and surroundings are beautiful. We were warmly welcomed and couldn't have been treated any better. Home from home comfort. Fantastic dining too if you choose to stay home for dinner.

After a few beers, at half time, I nipped up to see if Gina fancied coming down to join us as there was a whole gamut of folk including Bernhard, the local shaman who Gina had an appointment with.

Sadly she was too tired so decided to stay put but while passing I bumped into a couple of yanks.

Dustin from Hawaii, worked for Noah, a maritime operation based offshore. In reality he is Dirk Pitt, a secret agent who works for the USA in clandestine operations but of course he denied it. His wife Ally, is a professional teacher in photography, but in her spare time takes pictures of nude male models but again, like Dirk, denies this too. Hawaiian people are so weird....

Seriously though, Dustin/Dirk, invited us over to Hawaii so he could play tour guide and teach us to body surf and swim. The issue here is that I struggled to think what I could exchange. Maybe they could come to Bathgate and count the muffin tops or see how many orange faces and white necks  they could count.... An unfair swap in my opinion but I suppose it's a good base for Edinburgh Glasgow Stirling and the highlands..

The following day we spent in Maray, Maras and Salinas with Dustin and Ally and it was a smashing day. Plenty to see and do and by getting a taxi we managed to avoid those bloody tourists. I hate tourists.

Next few days were spent doing "Gina things" so didn't spend any further time with the guys from 5/0 but hopefully we can keep in touch.

Liz, a strange girl from the USA, who spends her time in wellies skipping in the garden, or trying to blow into the fireplace, made a lovely speech telling us that Kelly and Sergio, were to be married in North Peru, and forced us to drink champagne and Pisco cocktails. Man, sometimes it's a hard life.

Next day we nipped off to Ollyantatambo on the local buses. The first bus was no issue but from Urubamba Gina had the misfortune of having some guys ass, who hadn't washed his kegs for a good few days, right in front of her nose and sometimes on it. I missed this as she was sitting behind me. I had his friends female ass rubbing on my arm all the way and I wasn't complaining but don't tell Gina.

Ollyantatambo was very impressive but we didn't stay too long as Gina was keen to get on the bus to see if she could another dose of unwashed ass.

We travelled to Calca where Kelly's friends owned a cafe and were showing the final. Good food and many beers but unfortunately the Germans won which was a bummer as all in the pub bar two were supporting the Argies.

Last night in the Green House and we're advised that instead of being picked up we have to carry two suit cases, two roll top bags and two backpacks to a petrol station in Urubamba which is miles away. I have advised them that they can shove this up their jacksi and the next post will describe whether we make it to the Inca Trail, or Gina goes alone as I am not carrying my kit to Urubamba.  To be continued.

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